CONFUSION REIGNS OVER GLANMIRE

There is mass confusion on the streets of Glanmire today (not to be confused with the confusion at mass yesterday when Father Michael attempted to get the entire congregation to do a “TikTok Dance” without any time for rehearsals). Without warning, the clocks went backwards in time over the weekend. This natural phenomenon was first discovered by a Limerick man in 1972 and has been known to happen “most years” according to Glanmire Scientific Expert; Miss Dunne (age redacted), Leaving Cert Biology and Junior Cert SPHE teacher at GCC.

Normally when this event occurs, people, especially in Glanmire, are quick to rearrange their schedules to an hour earlier and are able to carry on with their lives almost as normal before forgetting that time had changed at all after about a week, but this year it seems people were less than prepared. Furthermore, an article spread like wildfire on Facebook in Glanmire suggesting that clocks going back an hour count for two during a pandemic. This left one local mother, Mary O’Rourke (57), totally lost when trying to arrange her weekly call to her son Brian O’Rourke (22) who lives in Spain. Mary explained;

“I usually call Brian (22) at 8pm Glanmire time, which is 9pm to him in Spain, but now I don’t know what time it actually is. It could be fucking midnight or 6 in the morning to him for all I know.”

Glanmire Credit Union, who are responsible for protecting local residents’ monetary and daylight savings, said they were looking into the time shift as a matter of extreme urgency, but they are not working today as it is a Bank Holiday and, spokesperson for the Credit Union and part time teacher Miss Sarah Dunne (28) added; “We hope to to have a response by Thursday / Thursday week at the latest.”

She then responded to another article first posted on Facebook by Gerard Hickey (48) at 3:30 on Saturday morning after a few cans that claims Bank Holidays don’t count at all during a pandemic but there should be a second Ash Wednesday, by saying; “It’s my day off. Remind me again in a few weeks and I’ll look at it then.”

If you or a loved one have been affected by the changing of the clocks you can call Met Éireann on +353 1806 4200 or tweet them on Twitter.